How to love

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It is important to be aware that the key for somebody’s happiness might not be the same for our own. Once you understand what this really means you might learn how to love.

Fairy-tails, love stories and happy ending movies have influenced so much the idea of what the right understanding of love should be. But love is nothing like that, it can be the easiest thing or the hardest. That’s why not everyone knows what love means and has no clue of how to love somebody else.

According to what I have learned, love is sacrifice, love is giving and hardly receiving, love is feeling exhausted because loving someone takes away all of your energies. Love makes you happy, it makes you sad, it makes you proud, it makes you feel like you have failed. Love makes you write, it makes you sing, it makes you giggle, it makes you do the most stupid things and the most incredible gestures. Sometimes showing someone else that you really care means letting them go and other times you become best friends with perseverance because in the face of true love you just cannot give up, even if the other person is begging you to. Sometimes you get to love the other person more than you love yourself. Also, when you are in love, you learn the importance of forgiveness and you will forgive things that are unforgiveable and forget the unforgettable. Love is not only about happiness and butterflies, it is also about becoming a living and walking agenda: you will remember every date and every detail even what you were wearing that night that you went out four years ago. Everything about your life together becomes part of a memory.

I do believe that when love is real there are no excuses, there is no distance, there aren’t other people and impossible does not exist. One of my favourite monologues from an Italian movie says:

“Nothing, I just wanted to tell you that relationships are big leaps in the dark. It doesn’t matter if you have been together for years, if you are married, if one lives in Turin and the other one in Canada, it doesn’t matter how much you are in love, if you are at the end or if you are just starting to see the beginning: no one will ever give you all the certainty that you really need; no situation can be guaranteed 100%.  This is why you need courage to love, you need people that pull their sleeves up and say: – ok, I don’t want to give up, I can do it!” – You need people that will have the courage to take the risk to be rejected, people that are afraid of the dark, but jump anyways because love is the choice that they have made.”

Love can be so powerful that it consumes you. And when it is over it takes over anyway: I can tell you that if I think about it during the day, even if it’s just an instant while drinking a cup of coffee on a Sunday morning, love makes me smile and cry.




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