We can miss a place so much that it feels like we want to be there more than everything even when we are not meant to be. There is no place like home but what does it mean when the city that you love and all the things that you miss about it become your worst fear? Time is a funny thing and in just a couple of months a lot of things can happen and the idea of embracing changes all at once when I will go back, makes me anxious. I don’t know whether to be scared of the things that I do expect or those that I don’t expect. It could even be that I have changed, that the people that I love have changed. What if I don’t fit in anymore? I don’t want this to have power over me, over my decisions but when I can’t sleep at night I let these thoughts take over control. The feeling that something could not be the same as it was makes me uncomfortable.
That’s why it becomes hard to talk about how you are feeling. Back home life is moving on without me while I am superfar. I think about everything that I miss doing and everyone I miss being with. I don’t want to talk to them because I know that they wouldn’t understand. But then again if you want to know what is wrong with me you just need to ask those people that know me best. They say that the more people you decide to let into your life the more they can just leave you and walk out. But I don’t care, I hate being alone and I love socialising, being around people and that’s why when I am alone I always end up smiling and chatting to strangers. It is one of my mother’s qualities, to be able to talk with anyone, any time and anywhere. People come and go but some of them you just can’t let go.
Feeling superfar has nothing to do with places, it is all about people.
Home is not about a city, it is not about Florence or Canterbury, home is where the heart is and mine is with the people that I love and they are all over the world. This can never change and even if it does, we should never get overwhelmed by changes, we should embrace them. Lets start this habit immediately. I’ve already booked my airplane tickets so fly with me.