We are totally lost without connections. Like vehicles need petrol to keep moving, we desperately need the presence of people around us and we tend to hold into account most of the things that they think. I believe that we try so hard to impress others because of our feeling of perpetual dissatisfaction. We are always chasing the idea of “happiness” settling down on the belief that there are a lot of issues, wrong things and injustices going on in our lives.
Don’t you think that we need more realistic ambitions rather then trying to pursue this utopian idea of happiness at any cost? I know that life can be challenging and that we have many fears that make us much weaker and insecure, but if I stop for a minute I can see how unnecessary and avoidable feeling sorry for myself is. When I was working in a summer college in Hull last Summer I met a girl. P was a lovely Ukrainian girl, beautiful, always smiley and nice to every single person she met, she spoke perfect English and was in a wheelchair. She decided to do this experience on her own for an entire month. My first reaction was shock: I couldn’t bear with the fact that she was constantly smiling and pretending like everything was okay when it was clearly not. She was aware of her condition and her limits, she would try anyway to do anything like dancing, she would even speak about what was wrong with her body, but she would never ever be upset or unhappy. The only time I saw her cry was when her friends had to leave the college to go back home.
It tortured me because I realized that I was feeling sorry for myself with no reason while she had all the reasons in the world, but she wasn’t. I wish that I had the strength to be like P, she has been and she will always be an inspiration to me. We should all stop being so critical about our lives. The idea of happiness should be banned because it is a feeling that cannot be planned and if we are too focused on pursuing it we will never feel happy. We should recognize that being happy cannot depend on other people, on how they feel about us or what they think about us. P was in a wheelchair and everyone was looking at her and speaking about her, but she just didn’t care.
Once a friend told me that we are like sunflowers, always looking for something to brighten up our days. People will always search for comfort in others, but it is easy to find something, even a small little thing that can brighten up our day. We just have to learn to be patient and appreciate our lives, because only then we will find our sun.
Thank you P, it was an honor and a pleasure to meet you.