Summer state of mind

#week1

Let’s go out and own the night wishing that this feeling will last forever. Tired of the Winter play it was finally time to embrace summertime happiness. No more exams, no work, I was allowed to run free with no concerns at all. I believed that there is a season made for every single one of us, and it was my season’s turn to come, that time of the year where colors burst, where you can feel the heat and you can make the most out of freedom. I wish that I could go back to that feeling right now. I had just taken off my braces and after fourteen long months without showing my teeth, I just wanted to smile all the time. Also, after my first year living and studying abroad I was finally back home with the people that I loved. Wake up, smile; coffee, smile; a walk through the city, smile; a kiss, smile; a motorbike ride, smile; everything, smile.

My dear Summer, I was definitely crazy over you!

And just like that, I got to September hating anything that concerns what I thought was the best time of the year. Unfortunately, there is not a season that love can’t affect. Things happen, fears start to show and grow, and you feel so paper thin when you start seeing the magic vanish bit by bit. With no rain and only blue skies I felt that I had room for nothing else but sadness and no one else but him and I kept crashing into my weaknesses. I was so scared to be lonely that I forgot about summertime happiness. But do we really need somebody to make what has always been great for us special? Is this the only reason why my Summer felt so unpleasant? Could it be that Summer is not only a season? If it was so great as I thought it was, it should have made me feel happy no matter what.

It took me a while to figure out why this past Summer is bothering me so much and after a lot of thinking I have come to the conclusion that Summer is not only a season, it is a state of mind. When you are happy you don’t need a season to make it possible. At the moment, it is not Summer for me: no blue skies, beaches, hot weather or freedom for my feelings. It just takes time, but I know that Winter won’t catch me.

Welcome to my life.

I.

Advertisements

5 Comments

  1. I love what you have written. Autumn and Winter aren’t so bad. They allow us time to lose those old leaves, to reflect and to enjoy a new Spring. The seeds are there, but the snow must melt away first. It gives them the water they need.
    Take care lovely.
    Cathy xxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s